Monday, May 3, 2010

MAGPIE /Prompt #12

                                      photo/ willow/ Magpie Tales

      Another tale that's erupted in the name of Magpie Prompts..long may they wave!! Do catch up with all the clever Bloggers who are Prompted!! 


I DON'T THINK I'LL BE A PROBLEM.  I'M QUIET. Not aggressive anymore, in any way.      

Penny said I could stay.  I've been very well behaved for a long time.  Well, I'm certainly good at that.  I can pretend anything.

"What's this ?" Penny asked, as she helped me unpack.   I smiled inwardly.  I didn't want her to know I prized it. 

"Oh, you know, one of those glass weights, like the Christmas globes you shake to create a chilly snowstorm.  Only, it doesn't matter if you shake this.  You can have it if you like", I lied.  What if she'd said yes?

Should I tell her that Edward gave it to me, one of his collection, just before his life ended? Then he died.  I saw his soul settle inside the globe, behind the blood red coral reef.
 
They let me take the globe and keep it with me when I went to stay in that place.  A harmless thing in itself.  Some people thought it was the instrument.  Nonsense, if they'd thought it through.  Much too ungainly to wield a lethal blow.  

I am my brother's keeper.  I will let him go when I want to.  Penny might laugh if I said that.  No I take it back, she would shudder as others have.  It's best not to say that anymore.  She'd probably reach for a phone, as if all hell was going to break loose.  Again.

No need to worry.  I'm different now and I'll keep all my secrets to myself.  Penny is a very good sister to let me come and stay.


http://www.minblu.blogspot.com/
http://twitter.com/lynxny

44 comments:

willow said...

Yikes! I love the Norman Bates-ish feel here. Watch out, Penny!

Lyn said...

Hi Willow-
Thanks..I guess Hitchcock has had a bigger influence than I thought!!! Yikes, indeed...

Brian Miller said...

teehee...there is a slight sinister undertone...i wonder is she truly sane or not? perhaps her sister will find out. nicely done magpie!

Blue Sky Dreaming said...

The word Diabolical comes to mind...good set up...Yikes for sure!

Lyn said...

Hi Brian-
Thank you..I think her sister may find out!

Lyn said...

Hi Mary Ann-
Thank you..I did have fun with this one..BOO!!

Catalyst said...

Oh, Lyn, you evil girl! Wonderful suspense within your character's mind! I loved it!

joanny said...

Lyn

A VERY interesting magpie take -- while we all had small fish to fry you went for the shark -- great story --- a promise of a good screen play.

Joanny

Tumblewords: said...

Chilling. Masterful tale!

evalinn said...

Nice story, I like it!

Lyn said...

Hi Catalyst-
Thank you..I guess balmy is good!!

Lyn said...

Hi joanny-
I like the idea of the screenplay..who'll play the "heroine"? Thanks...

Lyn said...

Hi Tumblewords-
Thank you so much..glad you enjoyed it!!

Lyn said...

Hi evalinn-
Thanks for visiting..glad you liked my little tale!

Suz said...

Who said "Yikes!"
Oh, Willow did...she's right
..voices inside her head...Norman Bates indeed....
good and creepy

Peg said...

Easy to understand why someone would hang onto a precious memory. Good story.

Jingle said...

there are some classical elements in it, I feel the beauty in your words.

Lyn said...

Hi Peg-
Thank you..yes, some memories are really deep, and meant to be kept!!

Lyn said...

Hi Suz-
Thanks..I seem to lean towards the creepy..just for fun, of course!!

Lyn said...

Hi Jingle-
You are more than kind..another weird secret..wonder what she'll do?

rel said...

Lynn,
A peek inside the quiet, for the moment, slightly askew mind.
One knows the queit wil not last.......
rel

Lyn said...

Hi rel-
Askew mind..I like that! One can only imagine..
Thank you...

little hat said...

Great. Macabre. BANG!

sheri... said...

uh, how do you spell creepy?? this was marvelous but i think the sister would have been wise to accept the gift, heh heh heh...glad i came by today!!

Lyn said...

Hi little hat-
Thanks for visiting and for your short and sweet comment!!

Lyn said...

Hi sheri-
Thank you..Now if sister had said yes? Whew..early mayhem!!

Berowne said...

Beautifully written. Terrific take on the prompt.

Lyn said...

Hi Berowne-
Thanks for your kind words! I almost want to follow up on (what is her name?)..maybe...

A Cuban In London said...

There were two elements that jumped at me straight away. The length of the short story and the intensity of it. This is a great beginning:

'I DON'T THINK I'LL BE A PROBLEM. I'M QUIET. Not aggressive anymore, in any way.

That drew me into the plot immediately. And then this:

'Should I tell her that Edward gave it to me, one of his collection, just before his life ended? Then he died. I saw his soul settle inside the globe, behind the blood red coral reef.'

Memories. Damned memories. One's brain is one's worst traitor.

Many thanks. Fantastic tale.

Greetings from London.

Lyn said...

Greetings to a Cuban-
Thanks for the comments..About the beginning..I like to put you into the action immediately..
Everything is a movie(or a dance) to me! Who's my director? Hitchcock or Almadovar!!
Yes, our cluttered minds are not our friends!!

chiccoreal said...

Dear Lyn: I wholly love your getting into the character's mind, have you almost "channelled" the dear sweet as Arsenic old lady who probably wears lace. I love these whodunits which is left open-ended and waiting for the readership to fill in the blanks. We get in trouble, we do, filling in the blanks. As in; we assume! (the old adage when we assume (the readership does this muchly we often make an ass of you and me: get it? ASS-U-ME? (sorry). Should I get Auntie to respond in kind (well maybe not so kind; but maybe she is kind; we wont ever really know will we! hahah! Great prompt!)

Lyn said...

Hi chiccoreal-
Such a good analysis! "Assume" is funny..and I do like nebulous endings, I trust the reader to take it further!!
Thank you so much!

Derrick said...

Well, Lyn, I was going to say how much at home I had begun feeling around here but I think I really must be getting along!

Ronda Laveen said...

Eewwww! The secrets we keep! Brother's keeper, indeed. I love this sick, twisted theme.

kkrige said...

Oh, I like that. Creepy, but fun to read. Thanks for coming to visit my world.
katherine

Lyn said...

Hi Derrick-
Shocking..that you think of me as less than innocent..Really, you're safe with me!!

Lyn said...

Hi Ronda-
Every once in a while I have to do twisted!! Thanks for the fun words...

Lyn said...

Hi Katherine-
It's always a pleasure to meet new friends..thanks to the prompt..
glad you like creepy!!

Jennifer said...

Marvellously creepy! Especially "I saw his soul settle inside the globe..." and then "I am my brother's keeper." Great story Lyn!

She Writes said...

I LOVED this!!

Lyn said...

Hi Jennifer-
Thank you.. I guess when we write, stuff just pops up!! Thankfully..

Lyn said...

Hi- She Writes-
Thanks for visiting and your comment...

Jingle said...

mine is up,
Happy Wednesday!


http://jingleyanqiu.wordpress.com/2010/05/04/magpie-tale-the-list-of-magpie-tale-participants/

Lyn said...

Hi Jingle-
That's great..congrats!!

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