Just Imagine..

THIS IS MORE THAN AN EPIPHANY, WHICH I TAKE
to be a sudden flash of enlightenment. No, I call this a revelation of sorts. It needs to be shared, and I want to tell it simply.
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My mother passed away on July 18, 2008. On the anniversary of her death, yesterday, my thoughts and feelings were focused on her from the moment I awakened. I slightly entertained the thought that it would be "nice" if I received some sort of sign from her. I am big on signs, clues, emanations, from whoever is tossing off comfort and joy.
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It was an early breakfast that I was preparing in the kitchen. I switched on the radio as usual and had to strain to hear the classical station I listen to in the morning. I heard the hushed beginning of Ravel's Bolero. It took me a couple of seconds to realize, and I then felt as if I were being splashed with cold water. Because from the time I was a babe, my Mom practically fell into a swoon whenever she heard the Bolero. I stood transfixed as the music rose to its crescendo. I felt as if we were listening to it together, didn't dare move too far from this "sign". It was an answer to prayers. And I started to laugh at this incredible cosmic "coincidence"! Who sent it? Mom? An angel? God? In an instant I felt that I was being reassured of our connectedness. Why me? Maybe because I'm such a nag for enlightenment. Maybe I have enough points for a miracle.
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But let's not stop there. I happened to be watching a local TV program in the late afternoon, of that very day; an interview with the new conductor of the New York Philharmonic, when Mr. Gilbert mentioned that he wanted to take the audience further away from their comfort zone. Not that there was anything wrong with the great favorite,"Bolero", he proclaimed, as I grabbed hold of a chair. No, I wasn't going to faint. Just trying to be graceful as I accept this experiment in miraculous coincidence. Here we go again...thank you to whoever. Thank you for this special gift.
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Not so fast. Things do come in three's, don't they? Am I giving it away? Last year my ex passed away on July 19, 2008, one day after my Mom died. We were overwhelmed, of course. I had a thought today, his anniversary, that it would sort of round things off if there could be a sign from him. Yet, why me, the ex? I seemed to be in the mood to collect signs. Last night I felt that music would be a "logical" contact. Not so far fetched, he was a superb clarinetist, classical and otherwise. Yes, clarinet music would be suitable. Well, there I was in the kitchen again, today, preparing some lunch, switching on the radio...
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My ex,"CS", always favored Von Weber's Concerto for Clarinet and Piano, and that's what I was rewarded with. This time I didn't laugh, I just sniffled a bit. Something very different has happened. Really.
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I know what amazing grace is now. You never know when signs and revelations will be heaped on you. Actually, it's quite wonderful!