"LOVE...and it's not being there"...The topic for this week's POETRY POTLUCK #46.
TILL THE END
I remember when silk was creamy white,
pulled in at my waist
and a train followed me down the aisle.
I stepped on petals crimson and pink,
my posies fluttered
with nerves of their own,
leaves shaking,
a forecast of a roving storm,
as I walked within a promise
before I swore to love till the end.
The end slid into view
around the corner,
sun dropping below the horizon,
voices shrill, exploding within walls.
Put a lid on!
I slipped down the steps
of my dream house,
out the door,
past honor and obey.
Locked it up,
tossed the key over my shoulder
like a bridal bouquet.
Catch it if you will.
copyright/ all rights reserved/ 2011
http://www.minblu.blogspot.com
http://twitter.com/lynxny
20 comments:
Something about this piece, I'm not sure what exactly, I really enjoyed, especially the last stanza.
lingering ending,
very enjoyable piece, the imagery is outstanding.
Thanks for sharing.
there seems to be no emotion here. like she is numb to the whole facts of it. really intriguing.
"past honor and obey."
Loved that take on the subject matter.
The enjambment on this piece is VERY good, Lyn.
Enjoyed it immensely!
Hi Jessica-
So glad you did enjoy this portrait of love and loss...thanks!
Hi Jingle-
The ending..perhaps a new beginning...Thanks for your comment!
Hi lunawitch15-
Interesting comment..maybe she's turned into a cynical reporter, although she's full of girlish ideals at the beginning...
Hi Bryce-
"Enjambment" sent me to the dictionary. I did that? Thanks! So glad that you commented...
Oh, what imagery! I could see it like a movie being played before my eyes.
Hi Kay-
Very interesting...because I fancy that everything I write is a little movie..I once wrote a dozen 1 minute plays for an assignment..parodies of course..hmmm, where are they??
Beautiful and emotive.
Hi Natalie-
So good to see you again..thanks for the lovely words...
Hope fading away...
Hate when that happens. What we say can have a powerful impact.
Hi wolfsrosebud-
But to be reclaimed somewhere else, perhaps..thank you for your visit!
Hi booguloo-
We can't always get what we want...but if we try, try, try...well, you know! Thanks!
So enjoyed this, Lyn.
Great imagery!
Nicely done!
Its an intriguing and very interesting verse... I like what Luna said too..
Thanks for sharing..
Shashi
ॐ नमः शिवाय
Om Namah Shivaya
http://shadowdancingwithmind.blogspot.com/2010/05/whispers.html
Hi Margie-
Always lovely to hear from you..you're so encouraging!
Hi Shashi-
Glad you enjoyed this..actually this was as emotive as I get..sentimentality gives me the heebee jeebees!!
Om Namah Shivaya...
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