THIS WEEK, Poetry Potluck #27, presents us with the intriguing premise of LIES, DECEPTION, and MISREPRESENTATION. Once again, they all seem to run together for me. I also just discovered the poetic form, Tanka. Seemed like a good opportunity to see where this will go. A Tanka consists of five lines. I wrote two Tankas, then realised that they could be combined to form one poem. I guess that's OK!
YOUR LYING EYES
Your blue eyes, they smile
and wink with a romantic
promise to embrace
only me, then you turn
to see the girl entering...
Floating an untruth
on waters brackish with mud,
who will be deceived,
to think the torrent will clear
and the lie become honesty?
copyright/ all rights reserved/2011
http://www.minblue.blogspot.com/
http://twitter.com/lynxny
24 comments:
Floating an untruth
on waters brackish with mud,
superb and visual,
love it,
eloquent job, A++
Happy Potluck.
Yeah, eyes, they always reveal what's truly beneath...
Beautifully written.. a shade in grey..
Here is mine,
http://www.tingtasy.com/2011/03/collections-of-tings-poetry-tp119-lies.html – Lies
and
http://www.tingtasy.com/2011/03/collections-of-tings-poetry-tp118.html – Deception
Happy Monday!!! :)
Hi Jingle-
Thanks so much for your comment..really appreciate it!
Hi Krislin Neo-
Yes, we must stop and look into those eyes...thanks!!
I agree, the eyes tell so much.
Terrific tanka(s)
Hi thingy-
Thank you..I really like the Tanka form!
A classic old story in a new and well-written poem.
Fine Potluck. Enjoy your visits and visitors.
Poem on ...
Hi Jamie-
Poem on, indeed!! Always, thanks for your visits...
Windows to the soul, the eyes reveal all... if one only looks. Very nice Lyn.
Hi Jane-
Too often we're swept away by the charm of it all!! Old enough now to know better..thanks..
love it! here's mine.. http://fiveloaf.wordpress.com/2010/01/25/paper-scribbles/
oooh!
A very intense n powerful piece written!
Eyes are the windows to the soul- don't they say it often?
Sending you Love xx
(is that your twitter link?)
Definitely okay with me to combine. I liked the use of the verb "floating"--I'm always looking for verbs that paint a picture.
Recognized deception hurts.
I've met the blue-eyed one you speak of!
Here's mine:
http://www.kimnelsonwrites.com/2010/05/19/dysfunction/
Ooohh...lovely!!
Those eyes can drift all places.. no? And it's annoying really to see that happen! (sigh)
Alas deception thrives.. and yet many a time, we simply fail to see it coming...
Well written, Lyn!!
Hi fiveloaf-
So glad you like this..thanks!!
Hi Olivia-
Yes indeed, the eyes have it! Thanks..following you now too!!
Hi liv2write2day-
Me too, looking for any verbal pictures..thanks..
Hi booguloo-
As long as we finally find the deception..it's good to be free! Thank you...
Hi Jingle-
Blessings and greetings to you too!
Hi Kim-
Ah yes, I think there's more than one..but we're survivors!!
Hi Kavita-
The wandering eye..whew, that's one thing that really gets me too!Thank you...
great poem for the prompt!
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