Monday, October 31, 2011

MAGPIE/ Prompt #89

                                                                photo/ Tess Kincaid


LOOKING FOR THE GHOST in the machine..found it!  This PANTOUM is a thank you to Tess at Magpie Tales.


DEVIL IN THE DETAILS

You'll find the trick,
how he weaves himself
into the cracks,
the ruptures, the stigmata.

How he weaves himself.
I see the stain move.
The ruptures, the stigmata,
look away, look back.

I see the stain move
out of the corner of my eye.
Look away, look back,
turn inside out.

Out of the corner of my eye,
I see the color bleed away,
turn inside out,
changes my words.

I see the color bleed away.
He natters a lie into my ear,
changes my words,
fakes my pleasure.

He natters a lie into my ear,
into the cracks,
fakes my pleasure.
You'll find the trick.


A Pantoum is a poetic form, first appeared in the 15th century in Malaysia.  The modern version is a poem of indefinite length and repetition. 


copyright/ all rights reserved/ 2011

http://www.minblu.blogspot.com
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HAPPY HALLOWEEN!
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33 comments:

  1. Kathy BischopingOctober 31, 2011 at 10:07 AM

    I like this form. And the hovering feeling of your series-of-culminating-Ks closing line. It's like there's an echo of how the poem could continue even though it has ended.

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  2. LynOctober 31, 2011 at 10:18 AM

    Hi Kathy-
    Thanks so much..that's what I like about the form, it's sort of taken out of my hands at some point!

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  3. Blue Sky DreamingOctober 31, 2011 at 12:35 PM

    I too like this form...you have made it great by a wonderful choice of lines to repeat...as a chant...as words that grip at what makes me want to look away. Thanks again for the ride!

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  4. LynOctober 31, 2011 at 1:02 PM

    Hi Blue Sky-
    I love the hypnotic elements of this form..thank you..

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  5. kelvin s.m.October 31, 2011 at 2:05 PM

    ..interesting form and piece.. a bit confused 'bout the arrangement so i need to go through each line and took a further study.. i think 'tis a li'l tricky like that of a sestina.. brave take!(:

    Good day!

    ~Kelvin

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  6. LynOctober 31, 2011 at 2:18 PM

    Hi Windowlad-
    I sort of have to keep a road map when I do one of these, else I might lose my grip! Thanks.....

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  7. Roy SchulzeOctober 31, 2011 at 2:25 PM

    What an intriguing form, I can almost hear this being sung, like a round. My Magpie this week is Poet.

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  8. LynOctober 31, 2011 at 3:04 PM

    Hi Roy-
    I'd be into hearing it sung..but not by my voice..this ancient form has far to go! Thank you..

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  9. Laurie KolpOctober 31, 2011 at 3:25 PM

    I agree... the pantoum form works perfectly to enhance your effect. Love it!

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  10. Brian MillerOctober 31, 2011 at 3:38 PM

    nice...wrote my first pantoun not too long ago the repitition and dance of the words fits this well...the moving ink blot...turning inside out...surreal and fitting for the season...

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  11. Brigid O'ConnorOctober 31, 2011 at 5:12 PM

    Clever and surreal and hypnotic.

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  12. LynOctober 31, 2011 at 5:23 PM

    Hi Laurie-
    So glad you like it..thank you!

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  13. LynOctober 31, 2011 at 5:25 PM

    Hi Brian-
    Good that you've tried this...sometimes it's the only way to go...especially with off-beat ideas...thanks!

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  14. LynOctober 31, 2011 at 5:28 PM

    Hi Brigid-
    That's why I like this form..it just sort of happens once you start...

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  15. Carrie Van HornOctober 31, 2011 at 5:49 PM

    What an amazing form Lyn....this is captivating. :-)

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  16. LynOctober 31, 2011 at 6:28 PM

    Hi Carrie-
    Definitely one of my favorites (form)..thank you so much!

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  17. MaggieOctober 31, 2011 at 9:53 PM

    Dang, that is clever. Love it. : )

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  18. Isabel DoyleOctober 31, 2011 at 10:32 PM

    I love pantoums - you did a great job with the prompt and the form!

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  19. Tumblewords:October 31, 2011 at 11:20 PM

    Wonderful pantoum! The lines for repetition are well chosen.

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  20. LynNovember 1, 2011 at 7:40 AM

    Hi thingy-
    Really appreciate that "dang"!!Thank you...

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  21. LynNovember 1, 2011 at 7:42 AM

    Hi Isabel-
    Thank you..It's always interesting for me to see where a pantoum will go!

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  22. LynNovember 1, 2011 at 7:44 AM

    Hi Tumblewords-
    So glad you enjoyed this..the lines seem to create themselves...thanks!

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  23. doriNovember 1, 2011 at 9:40 AM

    WOW that was BEYOND clever!!! How the heck did you do that? REALLY, really good. WOW!!!

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  24. LynNovember 1, 2011 at 10:32 AM

    Hi dori-
    Thank you for your enthusiasm! It just takes a bit of concentration...

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  25. Tess KincaidNovember 1, 2011 at 1:03 PM

    Oh, gosh I love the word "stigmata"...wonderful write, Lyn...by the way, I always enjoy Sargent...

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  26. ChristineNovember 1, 2011 at 3:08 PM

    interesting, will have to investigate this form

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  27. LynNovember 1, 2011 at 3:23 PM

    Hi Gautami-
    So happy to hear from you...thanks!

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  28. LynNovember 1, 2011 at 3:30 PM

    Hi Tess-
    I love to even say "stigmata", agree with you..also, wouldn't it have been something to be painted by Sargent?? Thanks for all the doors!!

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  29. LynNovember 1, 2011 at 3:32 PM

    Hi Christine-
    Thank you..it is worth looking into..a good challenge!

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  30. MartinNovember 3, 2011 at 3:03 PM

    Nice poem, in an interesting form.

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  31. The Blog of BeeNovember 4, 2011 at 7:32 PM

    Oh gosh what a clever take. Excellent. I like the 'stigmata' too.

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  32. LynNovember 5, 2011 at 9:16 AM

    Hi Martin-
    Good to hear from you...thanks a lot!!

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  33. LynNovember 5, 2011 at 9:17 AM

    Hi Bee-
    It's funny about certain words! Grateful that they exist...thanks!!

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